Night Spektors

P.S.

2010-05-28T08:50:00.002-04:00

I am SO glad i do not have to write benisawesome every time I sign on!!!!

I hand in my pen (figuratively)

Adieu

2010-05-28T08:41:00.002-04:00

Farewell Creative Writing Class 101. My time spent here will never be forgotten. (I mean I did learn how to spell here). Ms. Rut, you will be missed. But remember, anytime you watch Homestarrunner, we will be there. Whenever you watch the Carve-nival episode of Homestarrunner, we will especially be there. Whenever you read a boring nature adventure story, think of us, and we will get you through it. When times get you down, think of all the times you made fun of me for being sad.

I will leave you with a poem entitled Good Bye Ms. Rut:

Good bye Ms. Rut,

you are not a poser.

You were/are a very good teacher,

I will miss you next year.

(I was never good at writing poems.)

ILOVEYOUMS.RUT!!!!!

Love,

Liz (I'm not posting my last name due to internet stalkers)

A.K.A. TheLiz (Not The Cheat)

And so it ends . . .

2010-05-28T08:39:00.002-04:00

. . . and I can't even believe it. It's over---all of it---the laborious slow start---all that whining about spelling and writers' block---the crushing ennui---and then a spark---Pumpkin Carve-nival---the rest is history.

It all seemed to blossom into life after that---the Spektors' adventures in Baker's closet, Corny the Clown, Reginald, Gregoringourothtroglgor [I was never quite sure what his name was]---Ben's self-revelatory musings---the Point Park Guy---

What can be said about the characters you created? That Jeanette Sinclair and Victor [did he have a last name?], often referred to as Victory, for reasons unknown---might just be the single greatest characters in the history of literature?

And thank God Mac, with the help of Humphrey, in spite of his carnivorous conflicts, saved the Gulf of Mexico by plugging the oil leak!!! I wish, oh I wish, it was true.

I love you both and I will miss you forever---the Carve-nival will never the same. Please, please, please never stop writing. The world will be lonely without you---but on the up side---you'll still be here!!!!!!!

Thank you for coming in early and staying late---and always being absolutely, devastatingly funny. You make me happy just knowing that every day you'll both be somewhere making somebody laugh out loud.

Love and best wishes for your brilliant futures!!!

PS: Please do something to restore the self-esteem of the Jeniuses before you leave. Maybe have them go into Baker's closet and come back out again.

Fare Ye Well Creative Writing.

2010-05-28T08:34:00.005-04:00

Farewell year long creative writing class that was supposed to be only a semester, but lasted all year and I'm sure glad it did. I will miss you dearly. You have taught me so much about life, friendship, and that nature adventure stories are just not interesting. I hope you can go on without us creative writing, but I feel that it will just disappear without the awesomeness of the Spektors constantly raising the standards. I will miss you Ms Rut. Your witty, sarcastic comments always made me laugh, as did your making fun of TheLiz's spelling abilities. She learned by the end of the year how spell check worked. The characters we created almost came to life. It was literally as if Victor and Jeanette had the personalities of two of the most awesome creative writers ever (wink, wink). The greatest lesson I learned from my journey through creative writing is that you can write creatively about anything, but whether or not it's actually interesting is another matter. After years of the public school system destroying my creativity, it was stimulated once again thanks to Ms Rut and the awesomeness of the blog. Good bye creative writing. I wish we had more time together.

This is Night Spektor Ben aka Epic man signing off.

Corny the Clown

2010-05-28T08:34:00.004-04:00

Gregingor was in his glory. Not only had he found Corny (and in return arrested him on account of his rap sheet was a mile long. Not only had he ran from the police... countless times... but he was also one of the biggest drug traffickers in the US. He used his line of red noses as a cover for his unmatched drug sales.) but he had also caught Reginald, a slave master and as it turned out a murderer. Gregingor didn't think Reginald killed his out of date circus workers himself, but he did order it to happen.

Gregingor was happiest most of all because he had proved his fellow cops wrong. They said he couldn't catch Corny and he did. He couldn't wait to get down to the station and rub it in EVERYONE'S face.

As he slapped the handcuffs on Corny and his sniffing friend slapped them on Reginald he started to brag. Brag about how he the magnificent Gregingor had caught the mischievous and unreachable Corny.

Just when he was about to put Corny in the cop car and lock him away for good something terrible happened. Something absolutely dreadful. The worst thing ever in fact.

Corny escaped.

(Bet you didn't see that coming!)

Hungry

2010-05-27T08:39:00.002-04:00

My stomach is growling like the angry dog down the street. You know the one that comes running at you when you walk past the house, but then it gets strangled by it's leash. You laugh at that dog because you think he can never get you, but one of these days that chain is going to break, and then who's going to be laughing? The dog that's who. But yeah anyway I'm hungry... and I just wrote this post so I could post on the second to last day of creative writing.

Stuffy Nose

2010-05-27T08:36:00.001-04:00

my nose is plugged as my nose runs

it's an amazing feat of God.

Graduation Party!!!

2010-05-27T08:33:00.002-04:00

MISS RUT!!!!

come to my grad party?

(: <---- (reminiscent of the point park guy)

It's from 1:00 to 5:00 (or so) at Peanut Park

On the sixth day of June!!!

Corny the Clown

2010-05-26T08:39:00.002-04:00

Gregingor's cop friend lifted his nose and began sniffing for the elusive clues.

"I smell something sweet. So sweet. Like Caroline almost." Gregingor thought that was kind of sketchy. Everyone was sharing a little of Sweet Caroline today. Hm...

"Hey guys you really shouldn't go down this hallway. I mean, there are plenty of other nice hallways to go down and this one's a bit drafty. Come on guys. Awe I mean it. Let's go." Reginald's persistent pleas had no effect on Gregingor. In fact, they were only making his intuition to go down this hallway stronger. Especially since his cop pal had caught a whiff of something.

All of a sudden they saw Corny! WOAH! (This woah is supposed to sound like James's woah.)

"Mr. Reginald, you are in big trouble."

Mac's Journey

2010-05-26T08:37:00.005-04:00

After months of traveling, and almost being eaten by Humphrey like eight times, that darn whale just had an appetite for penguins, they were within miles of the Gulf of Mexico. By this point Mac was getting annoyed by Humphrey's constant babbling about how nice the Gulf of Mexico was this time of year. He said that the water was super clean, and that all of the animals there were happy all of the time. Except for that one really bad storm a few years ago that flooded New Orleans a little bit, nothing really went wrong there. So Mac decided that once they got to the Gulf he would chill out there. He would make a home on one of the coastal beaches and live the good life.

Within about 50 miles of shore Mac started to notice this thick stuff on top of the water. "Hey Humphrey. I thought you said this place was nice. It's pretty gross man. And there are also a lot of dead fish hanging out here. I feel that may be an ominous sign."

"Relax Mac. I'm sure this is just a tiny bit of pollution. I'm sure it has already been taken care of, and isn't destroying the beaches or anything."

They continued on their journey to shore, and Humphrey kept getting coated in the thick black stuff that seemed to be causing lots of damage. Suddenly this large metal object appeared on the horizon. They looked below them, and there was this stream of black ooze coming out of the ocean floor. Mac became enraged.

"These people are so freaking stupid. They always come up with these brilliant ideas of opening holes in the ocean, and never plan on things going wrong. Well I'm going to clean up this problem for them." And at that Mac dove deep into the ocean. The black ooze had coated him, but as he reached the bottom he could see where the ooze was coming from. He looked around, grabbed a clam like thing, and shoved it in the hole. The ooze had stopped coming out, and the wildlife was saved. Back on shore those stupid CEOs of the company claimed the oil just stopped coming out itself. They didn't want to reveal that a penguin had solved a problem that a group of highly trained overpaid scientists couldn't.

The Ending of The Game

2010-05-25T08:36:00.002-04:00

Victor finally arose from his deep slumber. Or better stated, his deep punch in the face.

He heard crying. Wailing in fact. He looked out of the cabin and down the bank and saw Jeanette harassing some kids.

"She can't have all the fun." thought Victor.

He trekked down the hill to join in. On his way down he found a goat and decided to ride it down on account of he didn't feel like walking.

Then he saw an axe stuck in a tree. "WOAH!" he thought, "an axe! This'll really scare 'em!"

He started picking up speed and began waving his axe in the air.

"I am McGearny the mountain goat man! AYYYEEEE!"

This kids looked up at him in scared surprise and Jeanette gave him one of her worst glares.

"Get away from my land or I'll set this witch on you!" Jeanette had worse glares. This was one of them.

The kids started crying and ran away from the area leaving all of their boring nature-adventure supplies behind.

"Really Victor? That was really the first thing you thought of doing when you saw these kids? Go away for the love of everything. Just go away!"

The tears stung in Victor's eyes as he watched Jeanette walk up to his dream home.

Slowly and into the sunlight Victor road away, with only an axe and a goat to his name, as tears streamed down his eyes.

THE END

The Game

2010-05-24T08:57:00.002-04:00

Jeanette decided to sit by the waters edge and watch those kids make fools out of themselves again. She really loved that salmon. He had saved her life and now he was entertaining her with these kids. Sure Victor was locked up in her cabin, but she was just going to wait around until he looked for her elsewhere.

All of a sudden the salmon broke the canoe! He must be a Muskellunge Salmon!!! She broke into hysterics. What were those kids going to do now? HAHAHAHA!

Jeanette watched as the kids were trying to fix each other up. Clearly they had never taken first aid with Mrs. Fink (because that was a thing SENIORS did) because they were not properly bandaging each other at all.

Noises started coming from her cabin. That darn Victor who sometimes referred to himself as Victory was going to attract those kids attention. She went up to the little shack and started yelling. "Victor knock it off! I mean it! Stop!"

"NO NO NO NONONONO NO NO!"

"Victor you are acting like a child."

"I am rubber you are glue whatev-"

"VICTOR you baby baby infant child. STOP IT!" She went in to the cabin and punched him in the face knocking him out. Well at least that problem is solved for a while she thought to herself.

The Game

2010-05-21T08:56:00.003-04:00

Victor paused before the door to a shack in the woods. Jeanette Sinclair was inside sleeping. This was his opportunity to get her out of his life once and for all. He broke open the door with all his might, and Jeanette popped awake with her gun drawn. Victor was prepared for this. Suddenly he dropped to his knees sobbing. "Jeanette can you please just go away. I want you out of my life so I can finally live in peace." He was crying like a big baby at this point. "Seriously, can you just fake your own death or something so the people at the FBI get off my back and so I can retire. We've been at this for like fifteen years or more. I really just want this whole thing to be over." Victor looked around at the nice shack Jeanette had found. "Hey wait. Maybe I could fake my own death, and then live here in this rustic house. It would be like I was living in some crappy nature adventure story." Jeanette at this point was amazed by Victor's lack of dignity and also his short attention span. He had literally jumped from begging her to leave him alone to being fascinated by the house. It was just too much for her. As he was walking around the little shack she snuck out the door slammed it shut and locked him in there. It would be an hour or so before Victor realized that Jeanette was gone, so she figured she was going to lose him for sure this time.

The Game

2010-05-21T08:36:00.002-04:00

Jeanette was so bored with her nature adventure life she thought she was going to scream.

The Game

2010-05-18T09:03:00.002-04:00

Victor woke up still in the hospital, and for some strange reason his right cheek hurt. He looked in a mirror and saw a hand print on his face where Jeanette had slapped him with all the force she had. (Which incidentally wasn't that much force so Victor's cheek only stung a little, he's just a big baby that can't deal with any pain.) This made Victor extremely angry. "Who slaps someone who just had a heart attack?" He thought to himself. With all of the strength he had left he jumped out of his hospital bed, got dressed and stormed out of his room. As he was leaving the hospital he decided to get a nurses number. He said it was just in case he had any set backs, but really he wanted it was so he could call her after he finally took care of Jeanette. (He did not have a chance with this nurse.) Off Victor went to search the country side for Jeanette Sinclair. This time he was resolving this whole ordeal and getting her out of his life, whether that meant capturing her or not he didn't care. Victor just wanted some peace and quiet. You know boredom for once in his life. He wanted to sit back and read those nature adventure stories that put people to sleep just because they relaxed him. In fact his ideal home was a shack in the woods near a river with a pet goat. He only wished he could find such a place, but that was a matter for a different day. Today Victor was getting Jeanette Sinclair out of his life once and for all.

The Game

2010-05-18T08:46:00.002-04:00

Jeanette made her way to an isolated river. Her Gucci stilettos kept sticking into the mud. She was beginning to think Lake Tahoe would have been the much better choice regardless of the crazy rumors that were going around. Mr. Tickle-Whisker Herman Schneider did not particularly enjoy being swished in the face with flying branches that reminded him of something his father had once said. "Ralph (that was his real name, not what stupid Jeanette had done to him) never go in to the forest alone, stars shine in many directions and many moons make crescents, but never stop chasing mice." Mr. Tickle-Whisker still for the life of him had no clue what that meant, but since they were doing that nature adventure thing he figured it fit.

Jeanette got ecstatic as she happened upon an old abandoned shelter. Over the doorway it read "McGarney lives here: buzz off", but she didn't think much of it. Mr. Whiskers on the other hand knew what was up and decided he was going to leave in the middle of the night before any chainsaws or donkeys came after them.

After they entered the shelter Jeanette tried to make it swank. But she couldn't. 'Maybe I'm not as good as I think I am,' she thought to herself, 'nah, this place is icky and hopeless. It has nothing to do with me.' Then she heard children erupting with laughter. 'Whaaaa?' She thought to herself.

She looked out the window and saw two boys and two girls, a cheaply made canoe, and the salmon that had saved her life. Jeanette tried to wave to him but he looked like he was busy. She went back inside, laid on the couch and decided to take a nice nature adventure nap.

The Game

2010-05-17T08:26:00.002-04:00

Jeanette's intention was not to give Victor an almost fatal heart attack. Her intention had been to just give him a little scare. Just a small one. But no, he had to be Mr. Drama Drama Baby Man. As she left the emergency room she slapped him across the face. She really had no reason for doing this, but he looked so peaceful just laying there and she hated him so much.

She left the room plotting. He was too weak to capture her or anything like that but maybe in 3-5 years he would be feeling better. What to do? She decided she was going to move somewhere. But where? Paris? Rome? Lake Tahoe?

Jeanette ran back to her super swank and fly apartment, grabbed her cat and her possessions and made her way out of that miserable place.

The Game

2010-05-14T08:56:00.006-04:00

As Victor was brushing his teeth, and basking in his victory, a sudden smell arrived in his nostrils. It was a smelly smell. A smell that smelled, smelly. It was the smell of a woman that was supposed to be drowned like a mob snitch in the bottom of the Chicago River. He turned, and there was nothing. Victor's eyes started to dart from wall to wall, and he slowly walked out of his bathroom. He grabbed his arsenal of weapons off of the wall, (This made him look kind of like Rambo.) and prepared himself for the worst. As he turned the corner into his study, he stepped on a pair of cheaply made leather shoes. The kind that Jeanette Sinclair had been wearing the night he dumped her in the river. Victor was beginning to become uneasy. "Why must she torture me like this!" He screamed. And at that moment Victor collapsed. His heart had given out. The next thing he knew, he was in a hospital bed with tubes coming out of his body, and right before he passed out again, he saw the flash of Jeanette Sinclair's coat leaving his hospital room.

The Game

2010-05-14T08:35:00.003-04:00

Jeanette was swimming with the fishes. Literally. Unfortunately, she did not know how to swim. She started kicking and flailing her arms but she was sinking into perpetual darkness. Her body started to go numb and she stopped her nonsense kicking. She was doomed. Victor was finally going to have a victory, his first ever. How unfortunate. Jeanette started to feel something biting her toes. It was very unpleasant. She tried to shake it off when all of a sudden it grabbed her toe and swam her to the surface.

Holy Moses!!! Did a dolphin come and save her? She wiped the water from her eyes and looked at her savior. It was a salmon. A salmon that seemed like it should be in some semi-snoozer nature adventure story.

"Thank you fish, thank you so much!"

"You're welcome Jeanette, now go finish what Victor started! AYYEEEEEE!!!"

With that the fish took off and Jeanette stood on the water's edge. Her heart grew a few sizes that night.

Then with an unmatched vengeance Jeanette took off to go take care of that Victor guy once and for all.

The Game

2010-05-13T08:49:00.004-04:00

(When we last saw Victor his dignity had been stolen, and he was trapped. Again. For the third time. Today we find him crying in a corner because his man hood has been stolen from him.)

"Why am I such a bad detective?" Victor sobbed. "I've spent fifteen years as an FBI agent and I've only caught one of the people on our most wanted list. That guy Truman has caught like 13 of them. They should have fired me years ago."

Jeanette was listening to Victor cry like a big baby the entire time. She had a soft spot for the guy, and couldn't help but feel bad. She decided she would go talk to him.

"Victor. Are you okay?" She asked. Right then he turned and punched her right in the face. Knocking her out cold.

"Steal my dignity will you? Well now it's your turn." Victor decided to put her in a canvas bag, and drop her to the bottom of the Chicago River. "You'll be swimming with the fishes now." He began to laugh his maniacal laugh as he walked back to his car. He drove straight to the airport, and got on a flight to Georgia. He could now enjoy the rest of his life because the lousy Jeanette Sinclair would no longer be causing him the grief she had caused him for the last ten years.

Elizabeth Kersey

2010-05-10T08:33:00.003-04:00

E-very day I come to school, I like to

L-earn.

I- didn't skip school on friday because I am just so

Z-ealous about said school.

A-fter school though I can't wait for it to

B-e summer! Oh summer

E-venings.

T-anning,

H-eat flashes.

K-rill going into whales mouths.

E-els not going into anything's mouth.

R-unning is something I will say I will do, but I won't.

S-wimming is something I will learn to do!

E-aster is over!

Y-AY SUMMER!!

The Urge

2010-05-03T08:59:00.000-04:00

to hit the next blog button.

i can't stop this addiction.

The Breakdown

2010-05-03T08:51:00.000-04:00

i need my mom ):

2010-05-03T08:34:00.002-04:00

I spent most of yesterday cleaning my apartment and packing some of the things I've collected over the last four years. "I hope they all had a good time at prom last night," I said to my roommate from beneath a pile of fuzzy slippers and sweaters that should have been taken home weeks ago. I then started to think about how exciting (and scary!) your next few months will be. On your own for the first time, forced to make decisions you've never had to make before. You'll be meeting people that will make huge impacts on your lives, in both positive and negative ways, and people you will think were insignificant but were actually quite the contrary. You will get to decide if/when you go to class, what you'll have for dinner each night, and just how many times you can wear, then Febreeze, those jeans before washing them is aaaabsolutely necessary. I wouldn't know anything about that last one...

I wondered what I would want to know, if I had to do this all over again. I thought maybe this list of helpful hints might be beneficial to you as well :)

1. Join every club you can...you'll be tired, but you will be thankful you did it later!

2. Go to class! The alarm goes off...you snuggle up with your stuffed otter, telling yourself that it's not a huge deal if you miss just one more class. It's tempting to sleep in, especially in the winter, but when the semester is ending you won't be the guy pleading for mercy from the professor.

3. Ben, Dr. Roberts (an English professor) cancels class often ;) keep this in mind when scheduling time sneaks up on you

4. Enjoy the convenience of the fast food, but only now and then. Freshman 15 is NOT a joke!

5. Take advantage of the library, computer labs, rec centers, etc. Might as well use what you're paying for!

6. Ben, living in Reinhard is convenient but, they charge you TOO much money and when you're looking at student loans you'll wish you hadn't chosen the Hilton of Clarion. There are plenty of other great places to live, that won't make you get rid of your hamsters! Okay, that's just me being bitter, but still!

7. Liz, sorry I keep aiming some of these at Ben...but I know zilch about Point Park :)

8. Hey Liz...I'd be afraid of moving to Pittsburgh too!

9. Hey Liz....you looked stunning at prom! (is this making up for my lack of previous posts?)

10. Even if you choose to stay in the same dorm/apartment for your entire experience....clean out after each school year! I'm going to need 3 U-hauls to get home!

11. In the beginning, you'll want to come home every weekend. In the end, you won't want to leave.

12. Ration your money...I've been doing this for four years and I'm STILL completely broke by the end of each year. Easier said than done, I know.

13. Don't panic!

14. Sorry for not posting before :(

Well, that's all I have for now...but I'm sure my next 3 days of packing will bring more wisdom than you ever wanted to hear :)

The Game

2010-04-30T09:07:00.002-04:00

Luckily, Jeannette was waiting right outside the school with a giant fish net. And caught him. Again. She took his weapons and all of his dignity.

The Game

2010-04-30T09:05:00.001-04:00

When he finally came to again he found himself locked in the lair with the weapons still on the wall. "Okay this time she's not going to get me." He grabbed a smoke grenade off of the wall threw it and ran out of the high school with the weird salmon colored lockers and floors.

the game

2010-04-30T09:03:00.000-04:00

Too bad Jeanette was sitting in the rafters and shot him with a stun gun.

The Game

2010-04-30T08:55:00.002-04:00

Slowly Victor's eyes came into focus. He was still in a dark room, but this room smelled faintly of formaldehyde. He slowly stood up and felt the large bump on his head. "I knew I should have installed that security system." He wondered around the tiny room and felt for a light switch. He flicked it on and was surprised to see a bunch of super hero costumes and weapons. A sly smile appeared on his face. "Wow Jeanette. You really were not thinking when you put an FBI agent in a room with a bunch of weapons. You have sunk your own ship this time." He pulled down a laser and blasted the door open. He looked around and grabbed a bunch of other weapons and some rope. When going on an especially dangerous mission to capture a mastermind like Jeanette Sinclair rope is always needed. He walked out of the lair prepared to either capture Jeanette, or die trying. Nothing was going to stop him now.

Game

2010-04-30T08:42:00.003-04:00

'This was a really bad decision.' Jeannette thought to herself as she stood over Victor's body with a lamp in her hand. Getting into the building had been easy. Just a walk up the fire escape and a slip through an open window and she was in. She had tried to turn on the light with no avail, but it was probably for the best. Her intent was to calmly back out of the deal they had made but in the heat of the moment (him walking in the door), she grabbed a lamp and knocked him out.

She decided the best course of action was to take him home and by home she meant to her secret lair in the back of some guys biology room in an old abandoned 'man cave'. In the secret lair there were all sorts of superhero paraphernalia. She always went there in the middle of the night because her lair was in a school.

She grabbed him threw him over her shoulder and was on her way.

The Game

2010-04-29T08:58:00.004-04:00

In the inky darkness, Victor cursed his lack of attention to the day-to-day tasks he always put off until later. The ConEd bill!!! They always cut the power on a Friday night, too---just to teach you a lesson. This was an inconvenience he hadn't anticipated. A hot shower was out of the question now. He slouched out of his trench coat, letting it fall to the floor. What a day!

Back at Jeanette's place, the super had just finished nailing a sheet of plywood over the window. Slumped on the futon, Jeanette just felt gloomy. And it was pretty gloomy in there. She switched on the lamp and rubbed her right foot, hoping she wouldn't develop a staph infection. "What are you smirking at?" she snapped at Mr. Whiskers. He just stayed where he was looking down with satisfaction from the top of the refrigerator. "Meow."

The Game

2010-04-29T08:35:00.004-04:00

Something inside Victor burned. It must have been the chalupa he ate for lunch. His thoughts changed to Miss Sinclair. He had come into contact with her on several occasions when she was in her heisting days. She never seemed like a thief to him. He had to do his job though. The FBI was counting on him to catch her red handed. She had always seemed so sweet to him, and he felt a little bad betraying her, but again his job was on the line. He couldn't let anything get in the way of his catching her. He had to stay strong. Like her he was a sucker for someone that was good looking, and it had almost cost him his job many times before. "Stay strong" he thought to himself. As he walked into his apartment everything suddenly went dark.

The Game

2010-04-26T08:35:00.002-04:00

Jeanette woke up the next morning to her cat biting her toes.

"Mr. Whiskers, stop it! I said stop it!" She started kicking in an attempt to get him off. Luckily, it worked and sent him flying across the living room. He gave her a very disdainful look. She returned it right back.

She looked to her left and found that dastardly rock again.

What was she getting herself in to? It had been 10 years since her last robbery and that was when she was 15 pounds lighter. She just didn't know if she could go and get herself in to that kind of trouble again. But Victor looked so promising. Then something clicked in her mind. Those eyes, like the eyes of her cat. Someone else had those eyes. A man she remembered from 10 years ago named Reginald. He had gotten her in to the same type of trouble that this new man was currently attempting to get her in to. She needed to watch her back. Something about this whole situation was pretty shady.

"Hey KittyPooPooBear, I'm sorry I kicked you, but you were hurting my toes. Come here sweety." She was a little upset when all her cat did was run away.

The Game

2010-04-23T10:02:00.003-04:00

Mr. Tickle-Whisker Herman Schneider, who preferred to be formally addressed at all times, winced as he found himself called by yet another silly appellation. Miss Jeanette Sinclair was starting to get on his last nerve. He stared intently into her face, avoiding those jarringly insipid highlights which only served to accentuate the fact that, try as she might, Jeanette wasn’t getting any younger. He flicked a shard of glass deftly from his right ear and onto the floor where it was certain to find its way into the bare sole of her foot as she padded to the fridge for the midnight snack that was starting to take its toll on her figure.

From his perch on the scrolled and gilded arm of a cheap knock-off rococo chair, he rose to stretch luxuriously and affected a sultry gaze---the one he knew always put Jeanette off her game. Oh, the female . . . no matter the species . . . it was always the same response. His disdain was palpable.

But just as his beguiling eyes began to weave their spell, a sudden gust of cold Chicago wind ran its icy fingers though his fur---the wrong way. Wwwrrreeeeeeiiiiiiao!!!! Just that quick he was on the ceiling. Everybody knows cats can’t stand to have their fur rubbed the wrong way!!!!!

Jeanette sighed and went to the kitchen to retrieve the ladder.

The Game

2010-04-23T08:58:00.002-04:00

Victor got into his car and lit a cigar. The smoked wafted around his head, and he decided to put the window down so he didn't suffocate himself. A smile appeared on his face. "It's only a matter of time Miss Sinclair. Only a matter of time until you reveal your true self. You can't continue to be so careful now. By agreeing to this carefully planned proposition you have already started to reveal what kind of person you really are." He began to laugh maniacally as a homeless man began to wash his windows. "Hey! Don't do that! I'm not paying you for that. Get out of here. Can't you see I'm basking in my victory?" The man, quite saddened slunk away into the night. Victor went back to his laugh. All he could think about was how no one would ever know that he had tricked this former diamond thief into another famous heist. He had tricked her with his movie star good looks. Jeanette Sinclair had never said no to a trustworthy, good looking man. He had her now.

The Game

2010-04-23T08:33:00.002-04:00

Jeanette entered her savvy apartment. She threw her Coach purse down on her bear skin rug and collapsed onto her teal futon. She ran her fingers through her intricately highlighted and expensive hair.

'Why did I say yes?' she thought, 'I knew I should have said no. The propostition wasn't even something she was interested in. It must have been his eyes. He looked so trustworthy.' she looked down at her cat.

"This is your fault Mr. Whiskers." Sometimes she didn't use his whole name because she couldn't remember it all. "I trust you and you guys look so much alike that I just trusted him as well!" The eyes weren't the only thing her cat and the semi-mystery man had in common. Her kitty had blond hair and moved in the cool swift way the new man in her life did.

"Oh, Jahosaphat." She grabbed a blanket and pulled it over her head. "What did I do?" She wailed aloud.

CRASH! Jeanette sat straight up. 'What was that?' With the blanket still wrapped over her head she slowly stood up. She reached in her pocket. Thank goodness she still had that mace. She walked towards where the noise had come from and saw her window had been smashed. The cold Chicago wind blew in her face as she reached down and picked up a rock. A note had been attached. The note was written using newspaper letter clippings.

"You wIlL DIE! Don'T tHINk you woN't! DO it and YoU'Re DeAD."

Jeanette passed out.

The Game

2010-04-22T08:54:00.003-04:00

He had his hat pulled down over his eyes, and his trench coat collar pulled up to his ears. The windy Chicago nights didn't sit well with him. Coming from the coastal area of Georgia, Victor Boxter was used to warm nights with crickets chirping in mid-April. He was here on a mission to find Jeanette Sinclair. He had just seen her come out of the club on 2nd and head towards her apartment on 16th. She was trying to catch a cab, but at this time of night no taxi would pick up someone who looked like she did right now. He slowly trailed her, hoping not to make himself known. As he finally caught up to her he saw her reach into her pocket for her pepper spray. Victor pulled his hat even further down to shield his eyes just in case she decided to spray. The rain began to fall, and she spoke. He could see the fear in her eyes, and he hoped to calm her down, but he had a cold and knew that his voice was probably pretty scary. The proposition spilled out of his mouth. She seemed quite interested. They shook hands, and she disappeared into her apartment. He couldn't help but smile, because Miss Sinclair had no idea about the trouble she had just gotten herself into.

The Game

2010-04-22T08:46:00.007-04:00

"Um, can I help you with something?" Jeanette said in a meek voice.

"I have a proposition for you. More like a business deal if you will." The man had a gravelly type voice like Oscar the Grouch. His sparkling green eyes reminded her of her cat Mr. Tickle-Whisker Herman Schneider . He was a white man, very white. Jeanette considered giving him the number of her tanning salon. Sure the weather was just now getting warmer, but really, no one should have skin like that. He had golden blond hair that was whipping in the wind, with a Fabioesque feel.

"Okay, shoot." She said.

The Game

2010-04-21T08:54:00.002-04:00

She froze. Thoughts were racing in her head. "Should I scream? Should I run away? Oh my God what if this man is going to mug me?" She decided to take her chances on turning around to see who the man was. Jeanette put her hand in her pocket where she kept her pepper spray just in case this man was a mugger. As she turned she prepared to scream and spray at the exact same time. "Those self defense classes would really be worth it now if I have to use what I learned" she thought to herself. She finally turned the whole way around and set her eyes on a tall well-dressed man with one of those cool hats the newspaper guys used to wear pulled down over his eyes. As he looked up so she could see his face it began to rain.

The Game

2010-04-21T08:41:00.002-04:00

It was a windy night in Chicago. Jeannette Sinclair was making her way across the street. She had been trying to hail a cab since 2nd Street and 8th Avenue to no avail. As she walked she felt someone behind her. Thoughts started running through her head but she pushed them away as she powered on through the night. Eight more blocks until she made it to her savvy apartment. She heard the footsteps closer behind her now. She didn't dare turn back. All of a sudden she felt a hand on her shoulder.

The History Behind THELIZ

2010-04-21T08:38:00.000-04:00

It was a beautiful summery day in the year 2008. Liz, Pat, Ben and Capri decided to go swimming down in Dotter's Eddy. Now Pat, Ben and Capri were all certified lifeguards with lifeguarding jobs but little Elizabeth was just a lowly lavender picker who had no swimming ability what so ever. This was a well known fact so Pat, Ben and Capri decided to engage in a nose goes-ing event. The last one with their finger on their nose would have to safe Liz in the unfortunate event of her failing to stay above the water. Pat lost, he was to be her lifesaver that day.

LATER

There was a cute little toy boat Pat picked up from work and they were all playing with it. They were also playing with an over inflated football that hurt when you tried to catch it. As they were playing both the boat and the football started to float away. Someone yelled "THE BOAT!" another person yelled "THE BALL". Liz decided to be the hero and try to get both of these toys, but as she went to get them someone called out, "THE LIZ." Thus TheLiz was born.

Where Has the Time Gone?

2010-04-20T08:57:00.002-04:00

I could've sworn just yesterday

We were sitting in a circle

"Indian style" on the floor

Listening to some fairy tale

Then all of a sudden

Here we are

A month and a half left

In our Keystone careers.

Life is just a walk away

A few handshakes

And a piece of paper

In our hands.

It's coming to a close

And although

It will be nice

To be out of here

I will never forget

The good times

Here at KHS.

Corny the Clown

2010-04-20T08:32:00.002-04:00

Gregingor faintly heard his favorite song, Sweet Caroline, drifting up through the rafters.

Sweet Caroline.. Sweet Caroline.... Sweet... Who did he know who also loved Sweet Caroline?Hm.... Who was it?

"Do you mind if we look around this place a little bit?" Gregingor asked Reginald. Gregingor knew that if Reginald said no that they would just get a warrant and come back. That Sweet Caroline tune was now stuck in his head and he knew something fantastic was soon to come because of it.

"Well, uh, you see, there are kind of tigers, that, well, they got out, and they're hungry, so I mean you could, if you wanted, but uh, they like meat, and you're meat, and uh, well, you probably shouldn't."

"Reggie old boy, old pal. What are you hiding? I see the tigers in their cages over yonder."

"Er, did I say tigers? I meant gorillas, those things are strong."

"Reg, what are you hiding?"

"ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!"

"Huh, alright. We'll take our time looking around then."

Disclaimer

2010-04-19T11:53:00.002-04:00

Point Park guy, I am so sorry if any posting on this blog seems a bit insensitive. We're all growing and changing and coming to terms with what it means to move on from high school to the big world beyond. You know how it can be.

Dear Ms Rut

2010-04-19T08:34:00.002-04:00

There's more then bleakness

Oh please cheer up

For you brighten our day

Every second period.

I hope we brighten yours too

You are our inspiration

So please Ms Rut

Cheer up :)

To the Weird Guy from Point Park

2010-04-19T08:31:00.003-04:00

Oh weird guy,

those Facebook chats were just too much,

there was no way I was going to meet up with you.

No way.

I strongly believe the best way to get a girl is by avoiding using all of those smiley and winky faces that just made me want to hurl.

Bad move.

Just don't do it, it's weird.

I'm sorry when we made eye contact I ran away.

Really fast.

Up the stairs.

And sat next to a strange lady so I didn't have to sit next to you.

I admit that may have been a tad immature.

But you scared me.

Then during the intermission when I kept my back to you,

and you tried to give me a little wave,

but I just kept turning away,

also a tad immature.

Let's look at it this way,

there's probably a girl somewhere at Point Park who likes to be bombarded by iconic faces made out of colons and semi colons and parentheses.

Youtube.

2010-04-15T08:58:00.002-04:00

In my depressed state

I tried and failed

Oh youtube

Why must you be

So slow today?

You have ruined

My happiness.

I couldn't listen

To Neil Diamond

Because of your

Inability to load.

Corny the Clown

2010-04-15T08:45:00.002-04:00

(This is because blogger wouldn't let me go back to normal font)

"Corny!! HUSH!" and at that moment Corny was gagged with his own sock. The worst part about it? He knew where that sock had been, and he didn't like it. Corny had a feeling though that his cop enemies turned hopefully future friends had heard him.

Corny the Clown

2010-04-15T08:35:00.002-04:00

Corny started jumping on his bed and hitting the ceiling with his fists. After a couple of minutes of this he started to sing "Sweet Caroline" at the top of his lungs. It wasn't long before the guards came running down.

"Mr. Corny, we have some very important visitors in the tent and we need you to please silence yourself."

"OH, SWEET CAROLINE. BUM BUM BUUUUUM!"

"Mr. Corny, do not make me repeat myself, you need to hush up."

"GOOD TIMES NEVER SEEM SO GOOOOOD!"

"CORNY! Be QUIET!"

"Oh I've been inclined to believe.... IT NEVER WOULD!"

The Night Spektors

2010-04-14T08:32:00.003-04:00

The Night Spektors had a meeting the next day. They were a little concerned about the whole they thought Ben was dead and offered him up to Superman thing. The most sad part was that hadn't been the first time they had offered a Spektor up to Superman.

They decided to disband the Night Spektors. At least for the time being.

Slowly, one by one they all left the Man Cave.

The light switch got flipped. It was almost as if the lights didn't want to go out because they flickered for a moment.

Darkness.

It was the second sad day in a row for the Night Spektors.

My Head

2010-04-13T08:44:00.003-04:00

If anyone lived in my head

They'd probably end up dead

For it's constantly spinning

Like a ride that makes people throw up

No one could deal with

The weird trains of thought

They don't make much sense

And are quite intense

My head is a place

That no one could live

Not even me

I often have to take a break

From my head.

The Night Spektors

2010-04-13T08:31:00.002-04:00

The Spektors all gathered together for a funeral. It was one of their own. Liz looked around. There weren't any tears but you could tell people were pretty sad, or at least moderately sad.

In superhero world when one of your own dies you push throw their body up in to the air and the leader of all superheroes, Superman, swoops down and takes him to Superhero Heaven. Which is essentially just like the Cave only without all the annoying chatter.

It was Ben. He had died battling Ivy in the Ballroom. She was just too much for him.

As the heroes started to throw Ben up in the air something funny happened. He started to wake up. As Superman swooped in and took Ben he yelled, "I JUST PASSED OUT! I DIDN'T DIE! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!"

The heroes all looked at each other wondering what to do next. They figured Superman would bring Ben back as soon as he got annoyed with him.

12 seconds later.

Ben was back. Superman couldn't take anymore.

The Spektors went back to their business.

A Day in the Life of the Ultimate Exerciser

2010-04-09T08:39:00.004-04:00

Wake-up: 6:00 a.m.

exercisor

Aerobics:

Step up; step down; step up, kick; step down; step up, kick, raise your sculpting stick; step down; step up, kick, raise your sculpting stick, twist down, hop, bend over backwards, do a flip, put your left hand in, put your left hand out; step down.

Abs:

Crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, burn that fat, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, legs up, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch....

Cardio:

Run 12 miles, don't stop.

Food:

Breakfast - Granola bar: 80 calories

Lunch - Salad and Water: 120 calories

Snack - Raisins: 25 calories

Dinner - Chicken Salad and Water: 150 calories

Bed Time Snack - Raisins: 25 calories

Bed Time: 9:30 p.m.

Behind Enemy Lines

2010-04-08T10:07:00.002-04:00

I snuck into fourth period creative writing in disguise. I said all I needed was a place to go because I would be lonely in my study hall. Little did those so called Jeniuses know I was there on a mission. Not a mission of good will, but a mission to discover their weaknesses so I could finally win the Creative Writing War for the Night Spektors. We had been close all semester to finally tearing them down. All we needed was one huge victory to gain some momentum.

Quietly I observed. Nothing was revealed that I could use to my advantage. The only sound coming from the Jeniuses was the sweet sound of "Landlord Fill The Flowing Bowl." The sound stopped though. James had left the room with a devilish grin on his face, and Ms. Rut did not like that he had left without permission. I had to find out where he disappeared to.

As I walked into the hallway there was an eerie quiet. James was nowhere to be found. I slowly walked down the hall peering into rooms, but there was no sign of him. Perplexed, I stopped. Off in the distance I could hear that sweet sound once again of "Landlord Fill The Flowing Bowl." I turned. It was behind me somewhere in one of the rooms I had already passed. As I walked back down the hallway from where I came the tune became increasingly louder. Once again I stopped. This time in front of Mr. Brett Vaughn's room 114. Not only could I hear the tune, but I also smelled a smelly smell. This was the smell of James bailing on creative writing and hanging out with the students in Mr. Vaughn's room. I couldn't let him see me though, so I hid off to the side of the room waiting for him to come out so I could bust him. As the door slowly opened I was prepared to make my move. All of a sudden behind me I hear "Ben!!! What are you doing?" This was the voice of the one and only Tony. He had seen me in the hall and got all kinds of excited. James heard the screaming, and ducked back into the room. There was no way he was coming out of there until the end of the period and that would mean people in the halls causing a commotion. He could be easily lost in the crowd. I had lost my opportunity to prove Da Spektors were the better creative writing class. Disappointed I walked back into Ms. Rut's room dejected and knowing I had failed.

Questions.

2010-04-05T08:59:00.001-04:00

Looking back

What did it mean?

What did I learn?

What memories did I make?

Was it worth... anything?

Corny the Clown

2010-04-05T08:37:00.004-04:00

Corny was beginning to smell something. Something that smelled so familiar. It was the smell... of... he couldn't quite figure it out. He lifted his face towards the ceiling as if pointing his face in the direction of the smell would help him figure it out.

It didn't.

Earlier that week the minions of his new boss put a collar and leash on him and took him for a walk. He had seen a bus. He started yelling at two kids getting on the bus, leaving the circus.

"Kids, kids!! I'm talking to you Seth Rogen's brother and the girl who is definitely not a 7, at least an 8! Look at me! Look at me!!!" They didn't look, "... I'll show you all."

"Come on Corny, it's time for your treat."....

Things like this were breaking his moral.

But that smell.

It smelled of..

COPS!!!

His cop men were here! Now to get their attention!

WE'RE BACK!!!!!!!!!!

2010-04-05T08:37:00.001-04:00

After a week long hiatus Da Spektors are back. There's nothing deep or philosophical in this post. It is just a post announcing our return and that new things will be posted soon.

Happy Birthday Redux

2010-03-26T13:04:00.003-04:00

Dear, dear TheLiz:

Please allow me to extend my heartfelt wishes that you did, indeed, experience the happiest of birthdays. Here's to a spring romance resumed, a college adventure, and a year filled with moments during which we don't always focus on the negative.

Happy, happy birthday again.

Yours in creativity,

Following the light. . .

2010-03-26T12:56:00.004-04:00

. . .a solitary bubble floated ever so slowly toward the surface. Do . . . whales . . . laugh?

2010-03-26T12:56:00.001-04:00

"I'll show you. . .

2010-03-26T09:04:00.002-04:00

. . . I'll show you all," Corny shrieked as he watched TheLiz and Ben disappear onto the bus.

Mac's Journey

2010-03-26T08:56:00.001-04:00

Waves crashing. Salt water spilling into his pupils.

Crying out for peace. And then...silence.

Corny the Clown

2010-03-26T08:49:00.001-04:00

Corny was crying. Tears. Like rain. Thunderstorms of terror.

NYC- Gone, Gone

2010-03-26T08:33:00.004-04:00

courtesy of youtube.

i feel this is appropriate due to the fact the elizabeth and i are leaving for new york on sunday. there will be no awesome posts next week.

From all of us . . .

2010-03-24T08:47:00.006-04:00

To our close personal friend and associate and an all-around-great-

human-being-if-you-overlook-certain-issues-that-we don't-have-to-talk-about-here-and-the-general-overall-crankiness-that-tends-to-hang-about-her-like-a-cloud----a woman of great fashion sense----a humanitarian of the first degree----and, oh yes, the woman, who through her brilliant characterization and crisp dialogue has finally helped us plumb the murky psychological depths of not only Seth,

but Mr. B. Vaughn. We love you---we revere you. And we forgive you. Happy, happy birthday to you, dear, dear TheLiz!!!! [photo gathered at bing from an Italian blogpost---we're sorry, but we just thought it would cheer her up---we had to try something, we were getting desperate]

A Near Death Experience

2010-03-24T08:37:00.003-04:00

It was all fun and games

Just a tube that rolled down a hill.

Nothing could go wrong Hannah said.

It's lots of fun said Julia.

Well......

If by fun they meant you almost die then yes it was a freakin' blast.

Off we went, Stiggy and I

Spinning around in a plastic tube

Towards what was our possible doom.

Through a game of elbow tag, almost demolishing people

In between two trees.

Had we have hit them I'm sure we would have broken something.

Then towards the drop-off.

This drop-off led into the woods with even more trees,

But before we could reach it we were saved

By the Great Dane, and I think the Beast Double Kyle as well.

Stiggy and I got out laughing,

But that laughter was covering up how scared we were

That we almost died.

March Madness

2010-03-19T08:35:00.002-04:00

Oh, March Madness, what you do to the citizens of America,

How you bring us together as you rip us apart.

Lord knows that you are full of entertainment purposes,

but what about those darn brackets?

Facebook statuses are popping up demeaning teams for their inability to win,

Grown men are crying at bar stools.

Women are angry because basketball is the only important thing to men during March (and April),

and it's sad when that is when your birthday is.

No, you don't want to watch the games,

No, you don't want to go to that guy's house to watch the game,

No, you don't want to hear about how far he's going in his bracket,

and No, you don't want your life to be overrun with stats and players and field goals (I thought those only happened in soccer and field hockey anyway?! )

Dear March Madness, I know I filled out a bracket for you,

But I don't care if Michigan loses or if Villanova wins in overtime, I don't even remember who I voted for!

Sure it's fun to take pink colored pencils and circle the team if you win, but have you watched any of the games aside from one you had no choice to watch? No.

So April, come quickly.

Mac's Journey

2010-03-18T08:46:00.004-04:00

"Please don't eat me giant majestic whale." cried Mac.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't flip you off of my back right now and fangoriously devour you."

"Well......I play the ukulele."

"Hmm....that's intriguing to me. If you can shred that Somewhere Over the Rainbow song then I won't eat you."

Mac knew that song, but he didn't know he could shred it. After all it was only a ukulele and is it really possible to shred on those things? He started to play and slowly but surely the tasty riffs just kept on coming. He even somehow managed to do the tapping thing on the frets to make it sound awesome. Out of nowhere an amp appeared and the ukulele turned electric. The whales eye balls melted out of his head. Mac had achieved the impossible. He shredded Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

"Wow my face has been melted. My name's Humphrey."

"Wait....you're a devouring machine and your name is Humphrey?"

"Would you like me to eat you?"

"No, sorry. My name's Mac."

"Alright Mac where are you off to?"

"Well I was trying to get someplace warm, because down here I'm always about to freeze."

"Well I'm migrating to California right now. Maybe we can find somewhere between here and there for you to live."

"Thanks Humphrey. This may turn into a Disney movie yet."

To Be Continued.

Corny the Clown

2010-03-18T08:34:00.002-04:00

Reginald went back to his room and started to cry. He didn't like to be mean to his circus recuits; he once was a bouncing baby boy on somebody's knee. Why did he do it then? For power and control. And the hot babes (that bearded lady was smokin').

He thought about Clappy the Clown. He deserved what happened to him. He tried to run away, and he got caught. Now Clappy the Clown was kept in the dungeon.

Reginald knew that Corny would be a good addition to the circus, that smile, his handsome red and white striped suit, his nose job.

Gregingor and his sidekicks, Pete and Harold were in their Coolmobile following Corny's scent. Pete had a nose like a bloodhound and was sniffing out the smell of talc powder and hairspray. They were getting closer, so close.

The passed the border line into New Jersey, Pete's nose was going crazy. That's when Gregingor slammed the gas pedal and zoomed straight forward. Harold looked up from 'Dear John', a circus tent. Harold took this time to remind Gregingor that this was the last time, he knew they weren't going to get him, they never did.

ZOOM ZOOM *sniff* ZOOM.

They were hot on Corny's trail. Gregingor zipped into the parking lot of the circus doing one of those cool parking tricks they do in action movies but if anybody tried it in real life they'd either be dead, about to be dead or arrested.

The men got out of the car. Their hair and trenchcoats were waving in the wind (poor Gregingor only had a flapping trenchcoat) and the smoke from the tires was wafting behind them. They started their march towards the circus tent, it was going to be a long day.

Corny the Clown

2010-03-17T08:00:00.002-04:00

Oh cutie queen, Corny thought to himself. Why was it that when he finally was in the safe zone something bad/evil/smelly happened to him. Corny knew he wasn't going to forget about Clappy, and how was he supposed to not act in a Clappy fashion when he didn't even know what that was?

Corny wondered if maybe he should get out while he still could. Until Reginald took him to his room where four masked men were.

"Uh Reginald? I think this room is occupied."

"HAHAHA! You dumb clown! Didn't you realize you signed your life away to me when you signed that contract? Enjoy your stay! MWAHAHA!"

"Oh farts." The men grabbed Corny as Reginald shut the door laughing. He was chained to his bed and locked in his room. There was one window, but he looked out it and realized he was miles from the ground. How had he been tricked? Why did everyone else at the circus get to walk around freely?

"Oh Corny, oh Corny, Corny, Corny. I bet you're wondering how we tricked you and how everyone else here gets to walk around freely. Truth is, they don't. They are let free when we get a new member into our circus until the new member gets put in their room, then they are chained back up and trained mercilessly until show time. The get unreleased again for the show then it's back into chains. We don't want anyone getting out and we don't want anyone on the out getting suspicious. Sorry Corny, but you're in here for life."

My Chucks

2010-03-16T08:58:00.004-04:00

black canvas material

low top shoes

there isn't a better feeling

then wearing my Chucks.

the shoe that has spanned generations

has made my feet

feel oh so comfortable

too bad they're falling apart.

A poem I wrote . . .

2010-03-15T10:46:00.001-04:00

Reflection on a Dog I Saw in Sligo

A glorious sun surprise

After gray upon gray

Plays across winter worn lawns

Glorious

On Colerain Street

The usual route

To home and haven

Making my way through Sligo

Ironic little teacher’s-apple-red Jeep

Chariot to adventure

And back again

Or nowhere in particular

Trail rated

Good to know

Here on the trail

Behind the wheel

And suddenly

Out the right-side window

The grimy, grimy window

Pure exuberant joy

Prancing in the brown, brown grass

Now there’s something you don’t see every day

Beethoven wakes up

And actually plays that pipe organ himself

And the choirs sing

I roll the window down

And I don’t know

Is anyone behind?

Because someone else should see

A little dog frolic

All dressed up

In a rainbow suit

Fitting like a second skin

With sleeves.

KR 13 March 2010

Corny the Clown

2010-03-11T08:07:00.002-05:00

Corny the Clown was shaking the hands of his new ringmaster under his new circus tent in his new town and he was finally able to breath a sigh of relief. He had made it again. His treacherous life was once again behind him and he was starting anew. As his ringmaster took him to his new bedroom Corny took in the sights of his new home.

This one was bigger than any he had been to before. There were people shuffling everywhere. Here they had a bearded lady, a midget, a sword swaller and a truthful politician in their Freak Show. Every circus animal imaginable was also a part of this place. From elephants to seals to lions, tigers and bears. There was a magician, those rope/swing swingers and a diver under the tent as well. Corny was so excited.

He looked to his new ringleader, "So what happened to your other clown? I mean I'm surprised I was even able to get this gig what with all the people you have working for you."

His ringleader, whose name was Reginald, looked at him with ice in his eyes, "We do not speak of Clappy the Clown. He was never here. If you try to find out or if you act in any Clappy fashion, we will kill you."

Mac's Journey

2010-03-08T08:41:00.003-05:00

On a lonely iceberg in the Southern Hemisphere off the coast of Antarctica sat a lonely penguin named Mac. This young penguin was the toast of his flock. Everyone loved him. He was smart, witty, and not too hard on the peepers either, but still he wasn't happy. Mac dreamed of a life outside of Antarctica. He had heard of penguins that lived in South America, Australia, New Zealand, and South Africa. Warm places. He hated constantly freezing his tail off. His flippers were always numb. There was something wrong with this because most penguins in Antarctica don't get cold, but Mac did. He had a hat and sweater that they stole from one of the people that were on expedition there because of his condition. Mac needed to get out of Antarctica. He had to get to one of those warm places. So he put a plan into place. He decided to hitch a ride on a whale that would hopefully take him to one of these places. It was a gamble because he didn't know the migration patterns of whales, but he had to try. He waited on the iceberg until one came up out of the water and jumped onto it's back. Hopefully this whale doesn't eat me, is all Mac could think.

To Be Continued.

Corny the Clown

2010-03-08T08:31:00.002-05:00

The men went back to the station... wagon. The man with no hair spoke to Harold and Pete the two moustached men.

"Listen guys, we almost had him. We are going to search through every carnival and find him. Circus life is his only life. We'll get him. I know we will."

"Gregingor, maybe we should just give this all up. I mean Corny's just a clown who made a mistake. We're never going to catch him and quite frankly, I'm ready to go home and rest." Harold had tears in his eyes. He truely was tired of searching for Corny only to have Corny get away from them every time. The only reason he had taken on this case was because of Gregingor. He didn't realize it would be a case he'd work on for twelve years. He was ready to retire from the police force, he didn't care about Corny any more.

"NO! We have worked too hard and too long to give up now!"

"One more try Gregingor," Pete said. He had been all for this case at the beginning, but now he was tired of it all. Had he known it would be the never ending case he wouldn't have taken it, "one more try and I'm done."

"Alright guys, one more time. Let's go to the donut shop and then find Corny. We'll get him. God as my witness, we will get him."

The Third Edition of the Night Spektors

2010-03-05T07:57:00.003-05:00

Vaughn was frightfully ill. He had been hacking and coughing and doing other sick things for months. Dan, the secretary, had been busy taking care of Vaughn that he hadn't written down any Spektor news for months. He did post one thing on thier website in order to keep them all up to date:

HEAR HEAR THE NIGHT SPEKTORS

Many marvelous things have occured throughout our secret organization

and I'm going to account for all of them now.

1. The Spektors found Sundling (he was drinking coffee in the teacher's

lounge but since all of the Spektors are students (and Vaughn

doesn't get invited into the teacher's lounge) no one found him).

Until he left and started teaching his classes again.

2. Ben found Luke (he's just crazy and was running around doing

shenanigans which annoyed Ben very much).

3. The Night Spektors turned evil and decided to take over the world.

Or atleast Keystone.

Liz found Ben staring at himself in the mirror.

"What are you doing, Ben?"

"Can't you see I'm practicing my eyebrow lift? Are you insane? You can't just interrupt me in the middle of me practicing my supervillian powers and menacing tactics!"

"You need to chill Ben," Liz said extremely annoyed, "just because you're practicing your villian powers doesn't mean you get to practice your jerk powers too!"

"I'm sorry. I'm just so stressed out with this. I'm so used to going and getting donuts with policemen, not blowing their donut shops up! I don't know if I can follow through with this. I don't even remember why or how we started doing this in the first place."

"We did it because we ran out of money for our income taxes. We needed to beat the IRS, so in order to do that we needed to beat the government."

"A life of crime is not the life for me."

"Yes it is, now shut up and get dressed. We have a date with the Fairview State Police tonight. We need to take care of all the people that are going to stop us in our attempt to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!"

TO BE CONTINUED

The Gnome of Lamartine

2010-03-04T08:46:00.004-05:00

Sitting out on the front lawn

With his red hat and green sweater

Sat the Gnome of Lamartine

He was an ugly little thing

Put out on the lawn

To scare away the raccoons.

Short as can be

With hair black as the night

And beady little eyes

This gnome was evil and diabolical

People who tried to be his friends

Were slandered about their stench.

Well he didn't smell too great either

He was also short, and when he tried to run

All he did was pump his tiny little legs

And move about an inch.

Oh the Gnome of Lamartine.

You shouldn't have started this war.

Corny the Clown

2010-03-04T08:35:00.001-05:00

Corny the Clown knew he was no longer being chased by the men. He slowed down and turned into the fish mart.

He stalled the car and leaned his head against the headrest. He let out a big sigh.

The men were after him. Again. How many times was Corny going to have to run from these guys? How did they always find him? Why didn't the man with no hair just purchase Rogain? His mind was flooded and he realized he needed to get going before they set the dogs on his scent again.

As he was leaving the fish mart he wondered why him and the men always pretended to be strangers when they found him.

Well, another day, another circus, another lifetime of thinking about the things he had done.

Got My Mind Set On You

2010-03-03T08:46:00.001-05:00

courtesy of youtube.

Can anyone explain how George does that back-flip when he's probably like 50 or older in this video?

i still suck at coming up with titles so i don't have one. any ideas?

2010-03-03T08:36:00.003-05:00

The sky begins to brighten

The snow begins to melt

The birds begin to chirp

It's a familiar feeling I have felt.

My days at Keystone

Are drawing to a close.

It's somewhat sad

That the time never froze.

But with this coming of spring

A new chapter shall begin

It may be a bit scary

But I must draw from within.

New friends

New faces

New classes

New places.

With the closing of this chapter

Begins an exciting portion of my life

A portion that will define

What will happen the rest of my life.

Corny the Clown

2010-02-25T08:40:00.002-05:00

"Get him!" the handle bar moustached man said. The three men with peculiar facial hair or lack thereof chased after Corny.

Corny was lucky that he had all the physical fitness training with the tigers those last two weeks. He had an inkling this was going to happen. The men in suits I mean, he knew it was going to happen.

Corny jumped through the window of the clown car just like they've done in every action movie from 007 to Cop Out. He sped away just as the men reached his car.

"We've got to find Corny, he's done some very bad things, very bad things indeed." The man with no hair whatsoever said.

TO BE CONTINUED

Worst Burger King Experience Ever

2010-02-24T08:44:00.004-05:00

Burger King, Southside of Pittsburgh, 12:23 P.M.

My food had already taken twenty minutes to get, but I received a free Hershey's Chocolate Pie, and our meal was free. How could this day be a bad one? I foolishly asked myself. Suddenly a cup of Coke went flying. Screaming started. What was going on? I asked as I enjoyed my chicken tender crisp.

12:30 P.M.

Hunkered under my table, I tried to hide myself and my sobbing. The cup had not been thrown, but shot by a sniper. I had no way of knowing before I walked into that Burger King that the king pin of the Russian mafia was sitting one booth away enjoying a double Whopper. (Can I be sued for copy right infringement by using these terms?) Now the restaurant had turned into a war zone along with all of East Carson Street. The men outside were CIA and FBI agents who had been tracking Mikhail Gorbachev for over ten years. (I learned his name when I had a short conversation while I was in line with him.) I feared for my life. I had been the only one in the establishment besides him and the workers. I'm not sure why the agents couldn't have stopped me before I went inside, but that's a different rant for a different day. All I could think about was getting out of there alive.

12:35 P.M.

The place was surrounded. Gun fire was everywhere. People were running down the streets screaming, and buildings were burning. It was like a scene out of Call of Duty Modern Warfare. I was shocked to see such a battle field in my own country. The Russians had taken over Carson Street holding hostages and demanding that Gorbachev be allowed to walk away from the Burger King without so much as a sneeze from the American agents. If the agents did take him out then Mellon Arena would be blown to bits. I was still scared, but at the same time shocked at the amount of Russians in the city of Pittsburgh. I wondered was this about drugs, or nuclear arms? No one had said anything about the reasoning behind all of this. All I knew was I had to escape.

12:45 P.M.

Still hunkered under my table I was drifting in and out of being awake, because at this point in time nothing had really been happening. The agents were still waiting to either take out Gorbachev, and he was still waiting for them to back down. It was a dumb chess game and I had to figure out a way to end it.

12: 46 P.M.

The agents had slipped a wire into me. They told me if I could get him to turn his back to the window they'd be able to shoot him with a tranquilizer and this whole ordeal would be over. Carson Street had been contained with the help of the National Guard, and the Russians had fled to their private helicopters kept near the old steel mills. I had a plan.

12:48 P.M.

I stood up. This was a risky move because it gave him reason to shoot me. I yelled over to him "Hey the Russian national team is awful. They lost to the Slovaks!" Being a Russian hockey enthusiast this infuriated him. He leaped to his feet and ran full speed at me. I ducked out of the way. The shot was fired and he dropped to the ground.

12:50 P.M.

I walked out of the Burger King a national hero. When I finally ran into one of the agents I asked what this was all about. He said "He was trying to take the city of Pittsburgh hostage so that Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin couldn't get back into the city after the Olympics. His real name was Alexander Ovechkin. He was trying to shut down hockey here in Pittsburgh."

The End

Corny the Clown

2010-02-24T08:38:00.002-05:00

Corny the Clown was just a lowly circus clown until one day when he hit it big. He was just aimlessly working on his juggling act under the big tent when three guys wearing suits and sunglasses walked in.

"Well hello strangers!" Corny exclaimed while waving.

"Are you... Corny the Clown?" One of the men said. He had a goatee that was border line soul patch.

"Why yes I am!" Corny was such a nice guy. He had the typical clown look with the big red hair and the nose and the face paint. What set Corny apart though was the machete he kept hidden in his inflated pants.

"Then you need to come with us Corny." The second man said. He had a handle bar moustache that was so nicely taken care of.

"Why?" Corny was started to sweat.

"You've done some bad things Corny, or should we say, FRANK!?" the third man was the worst of all. He was bald with no moustache!

Corny a.k.a. Frank took off to the Clown Car. He got away in the nick of time.

TO BE CONTINUED!!

Ode to Looking Bad

2010-02-18T08:39:00.003-05:00

Today I woke up and hit the snooze button.

When I finally rolled out of bed and hit the floor I had little time to get ready.

I looked in the mirror and almost started crying at the site of my face.

It was going to be one of those days.

I put on my make-up. It looked terrible.

I put on my clothes. Sweatpants and a hoodie.

I grabbed breakfast. A cookie.

Today is going to be one of those days.

AUUGGHHH!!!! (The Charlie Brown noise when he misses the football)

2010-02-18T08:35:00.005-05:00

Writer's block. My worst nightmare. It pains me. I'm on the verge of a writing breakdown. When was the last time I wrote anything with meaning, or something worth reading? My fingers tap the keys yet I am unable to have a focused, creative product. The creative juices are there, but I am unable to contain them. Oh what despair. I have thoughts of a secret agent bunny, my future, a doomsday epic, and a man stuck on a plateau in New Mexico. None of these ideas have led to anything but a skeleton of a plot with holes and no real meaning to it. The only reason I am writing this write now is to get focus on some sort of writing, but it's gone now too. Writer's block. My ultimate doom.

Where in the World is Benjamin San Francisco?

2010-02-09T08:32:00.002-05:00

It was a dark day for Benjamin San Francisco. He had spent his last $5 on a cheap bottle of Pepsi. He was hovering in the alley between the Build-A-Bear Workshop and Victoria's Secret. He couldn't find his way to his home. He knew there were people looking for him. Searching. But he couldn't help them find him. Why? Because he didn't remember his name, his address, or what he had been doing just hours earlier. He had been hit on the head with a giant hammer, like the ones at carnivals to prove your strength. He had no memory to speak of and didn't know what to do.

Ben laid down in the alley hoping that in the morning all would get better.

THE NEXT MORNING

Things weren't better. Ben was soaked to the bone and crying. Then this beautiful lady walked past. He ran out of the alley and poked her really hard.

"LADY! HELP ME!"

BAM, she hit him with her purse and ran away.

Ben fell down to the ground crying and screaming. The pain he felt, the agony. Oh, the agony.

Ben started rolling and twitching on the ground. He was sad because he still couldn't remember who he was.

All of a sudden the local dog catchers drove past. They picked up Ben because he was foaming at the mouth and they felt they had a moral obligation to get him off the streets. They dropped him off at the town's insane asylum.

The workers at the asylum instantly took Ben in because they saw that he needed some serious help.

They locked him up in his own room and only fed him Princess Fruit Gummies for the next 40 years.

40 YEARS LATER

Ben remembered who he was. He was Benjamin San Francisco and before he had been hit over the head he had been working to become the Magenta Power Ranger. He had made up this Power Ranger all on his own because he really wanted to be one.

Ben told the workers at the asylum that he was a Power Ranger.

They never let him out.

Poor Benjamin San Francisco.

A Very Brady War

2010-02-04T08:32:00.004-05:00

Bullet shells were raining on my helmet. Explosions lit up the sky like the night of my senior prom. Men were cussing and yelling and dying all around me. How I'd made it that far I'll never know. I looked to my left and saw the glimmer of blond hair. I started to chase after it. It was her again.

I left her when I went to 'Nam and I'd been seeing her ever since. Maybe that was what was keeping me alive. I wanted so badly to lay my eyes on her again. I ran faster and faster because the hair was getting farther away.

Then I fell. I looked up and she was gone. I fell because Charlie had thrown another bomb to our side. I slowly stood up and wiped off the dirt and returned to my station.

Greg looked at me as he always did when I went off chasing my girl. "Look Peter, Cindy's not here, she ain't gonna be here, she ain't never comin' over here. You got to do your job if you ever want to see Cindy again. Or your parents Carol and Mike. Greg, you ain't the only one that's hurtin'. I'm missin' my girl Marcia. Sure her sister Jan gets in the way of our relationship all the time but I'd trade anythin' to be with her."

"I understand."

"Then get out there and fight Charlie!"

Bobby gave me a small bite of his biscuit at dinner tonight and called me his brother. He's the closest I've gotten to anyone here other than Peter. They're almost like my brothers. Greg's like an older brother with the wisdom and advice he gives to me and Bobby's younger like I got to take care of him and such.

I just wanted to go home and hold Cindy. Her blond curls were to die for. Sometimes her lisp got in the way of our conversations, but I would just tell her to let me do the talking.

Then Alice walked into the room and started collecting their clothing for washing. "Come on boys, I don't have all day!" Alice signed up to do laundry, why? no one knew. She just must have enjoyed doing maid like activities. Alice's boyfriend Same was a butcher and would sometimes send meat and other delectable food along with Alice for the boys.

Ten months later the boys were sent home. Peter got to be with Cindy, Greg enjoyed his time with Marcia and Jan who tagged along (constantly saying "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!"). Little Bobby became a cop due to his history of safety monitoring before the war. Peter's parents Carol and Mike lived a happy life after the war as well as Alice and Sam.

Running With Imagination

2010-02-03T08:40:00.004-05:00

It was winter. There was a chill in the air that was so remarkably cold it couldn't have just been the wind. Or the snow. There was something else in that air. Something sinister maybe. Intrusive. I started to walk faster but the stretch of land between my home and me was increasingly expanding. I could have sworn to that. I was constantly looking to my left, then to my right.

I picked up my pace. I heard rustling in the trees around me. My pink mittens weren't keeping out the cold like I had intended. The wind was biting my nose and ears. The snow started to furiously fall. Whipping me and beating me as I tried to get home.

As I got closer to my intended destination it started growing darker. Someones eyes were upon me, I knew this for a fact. I started to jog. I heard noises behind me. Sounds of crunching snow behind me as though someone was following me. I took a second and peered behind me. I saw a huge shadow. Faster and faster and faster. I couldn't go fast enough. My muscles were aching, my eyes were streaming with tears.

I finally made it onto my street. This was the moment of truth. As my feet beat the icy pavement that was below me, my heart beat at a rhythm all it's own. Like native Africans along the Congo River.

My house. My house. A hundred feet from my house. I knew my pursuer was close behind me. I leaped onto my porch, swung open the door and landed in the foyer of my home just as my captor would have taken me prisoner.

My family was enjoying dinner wondering what had taken me so long. I smelled turkey and potatoes as my face and hands started to sting from the heat of my house hitting the cold of my skin. I look out the door. No one was there.

Had there been a man chasing me?

Or had my imagination put him there?

I turned the lock on the door and went into the kitchen to have my dinner.

Dang. The Spektors are losers.

2010-02-03T08:39:00.004-05:00

I can feel her disappointment

Her heart growing heavy

She no longer believes in us.

We have become failures.

Oh why have we stopped creating?

Is it so hard to write?

These questions are answered by this poem.

We just need an inspiration,

But it's so hard to find these days.

We are a let down.

We are sorry.

Creative juices must start flowing again.

Will there ever be . . .

2010-02-02T09:00:00.001-05:00

another word

another phrase

another clever line or two

just one more episode

one more haunting poetic voice

or shared laugh

at times I think

it's all played out

the words arranged

in every combination

all the possibilities exhausted

at times I think

that there will never be

another word.

The History Behind THELIZ

2010-01-29T10:36:00.003-05:00

LATER

Oh What to do When the Creative Juices Stop Flowing

2010-01-29T10:20:00.002-05:00

Oh what to do when the creative juices stop flowing,

it's like the course they use to take has shut down,

or they have frozen mid way to my brain.

Oh what to do when the creative juices stop flowing,

I can't think of anything in depth

I can't think of anything thought provoking.

Oh what to do when the creative juices stop flowing,

do I quit?

Or do I find another means to express myself?

Oh what to do when the creative juices stop flowing.

A cautionary tale . . .

2010-01-25T14:23:00.001-05:00

We need to remember that we are blogging at school---or at homefor school purposes---when we post to the Jeniuses, the Spektors, the Mutts, or any of the English 10 blogs, so we have to abide by all AUP guidelines.

I can't help noticing that some of our more avid posters have begun to overlap their school identities and their private identities. Sometimes this is OK, but I noticed that a few of the followers have some pretty sketchily-named blogs on their lists of other blogs they follow, and I need you to correct this.

If a blog has a name you can't say at school, you can't tell us you follow it on a school blog.

Please---check your lists and make the necessary adjustments.

And please---don't let this dampen your enthusiasm for all things blog and web 2.0 that many of you have only so recently begun creating---just let's keep it all school at school.

The Crack

2010-01-25T08:41:00.002-05:00

The crack has grown

But why?

This beautiful stained glass window was once one,

But now

It is breaking apart into two.

The crack started small

Nothing to be concerned about

Everyone said.

Only a small crack

It cannot hurt the integrity

Of the glass.

Had it been fixed right away

The glass would be whole,

But as time passes

The crack continues to grow

Leading towards

The imminent doom

That lies ahead...

It will shatter,

And become but only a memory

Of what it once was.

Spell Check or How Hard Is It?

2010-01-22T08:47:00.002-05:00

Clearly, this could be the title of a Shakespearean play, but it's not. Sadly, yet again, I, your intrepid instructor, have managed to send poor TheLiz into a deep blue haze of mopery simply by suggesting that it might behoove one to check one's spelling now and then.

I fear I may have dealt a death blow to her creative flame. I fear, indeed. Because how do I know? She might be the e e cummings of misspelling. Maybe that's her style! Maybe that's her style.

I must go away and ponder.

Does anybody want to write a drama for NBC's vacant 10 o'clock time slot? We can all be rich, rich, rich!

I em gonta mispell evry werd n ths sintince xcept I. Hey, TheLiz, it does so put the red squiggly line under the words. Ha!!!!

Starting Over

2010-01-19T09:14:00.001-05:00

Reflections on the next to the last day . . .

Looking back is rarely

the best way to proceed

You might just trip over

obstacles ahead

But look back I must---

not without a certain longing

a longing to have done more

to have been better

to have inspired not fear and loathing

but pride and confidence

Failing myself, my young protégés,

my mother, and all my ancestors

I am tempted to give up

to admit defeat . . .

But then

at the last possible second

a light appears, a faint light

down a long dazzling tube

It’s so---beautiful

“Follow the light,”

a warm, enveloping voice intones.

“Follow the light.”

It’s so---beautiful

and I float up away from the hunched figure

tapping out remorse on the keyboard . . .

I am light as a feather as I hover there

“Follow the light.”

It’s so beautiful.

And I laugh . . .

“What are you doing?”

It’s Ben and I realize that I am

not hovering over the hunched figure

I am the hunched figure---still

“Are you laughing at your own writing?”

Ben asks.

Elizabeth scowls

“Yes,” I say.

And we’re back . . .

Bring it, Semester 2!

Ode to Semester One

2010-01-19T08:54:00.003-05:00

Semester one creative writing has been such a joy

The laughs, the tears (mostly from Elizabeth) and the not so memorable times

The great poems, and the not so great ones

The odes and the stories

All have combined for one amazing semester of creativity

Semester one has given us the Night Spektors and Gobbles

I Remember and the Darkness of War

We have also created together the Chicken Nugget Incident

And a glog.

What haven't we done in semester one?

I can answer that.

We haven't conquered the world,

But that's about it.

What can we expect for semester two?

Ms. Rut says she'll be more attentive

So therefore I believe...

The stories will be greater

The poems deeper

And although semester one is hard to top

Semester two has the potential

To be...

The best semester ever.

The Downfall of James and His Nice Sidekick Sara

2010-01-19T08:52:00.009-05:00

It was the last day of the first semester of creative writing. The teacher Ms. Rutkowski was at her wits end because she still had an immense amount of things to grade. The good creative writing students, Elizabeth and Benjamin, were at their wits end because they still had 4 more months until graduation. With senior projects done and the first semester almost behind them they were ready to get out. They were constantly writing poems about how much they despised school and wished for the blessed summer and their new lives that were sure to follow. Little did they know there were two loser students who were trying to stop this from happening.

These students were the loser creative writers. They can't even spell genius correctly! (see Junior Jenuises). They were mad because not only did Liz and Ben write all the good and interesting stories, but they still had another year on top of the four months left of Ben and Liz's senior year. There was James who was a slightly taller version of Danny DeVito with slightly more hair and Sara who was like Princess Peach only with brown hair and slightly more athleticism (have you ever won a single Mario Cart race or any other Mario game as Princess Peach? I didn't think so.) They were also jealous of Liz and Ben because Ben was like Gumby with hair and Liz was like the chick from Pirates of the Caribbean only less dirty. They were practically perfect.

James decided that he and Sara needed to do something diabolical in order to make Liz and Ben the loser students instead of the star students. Something sick and diabolical...

The Next Day!!

Ben and Liz logged onto their blog the Night Spektors for the first time since before the weekend. All of a sudden Ben burst into tears and Liz gasped in shock.

"What is it?! What is it?!" Ms. Rut yelled loudly.

What was it? Nasty, nasty poems and stories and videos were posted on the Night Spektors blog. Stories about James playing hockey and failing and Sara and her band breaking up. There were videos of James' favorite singer Britany Spears covering the blog. Liz and Ben were dismayed. Ms. Rut was very very angry. She told Liz and Ben they needed to straighten up and write good things on the blog instead of crappy stories attacking James and Sara all the time.

"Ms. Rut when we write mean stories about James and Sara they're really good!! We hardly ever attack Sara anyway because she's nice and we like her! James is the mean one." Ben cried.

"Ms. Rut seriously, it was obviously James and Sara. James loves Britany Spears!" Liz exclaimed vivaciously.

"I don't care! It was you two, I know it!"

"Ms. Rut!! No it wasn't!!" Ben and Liz yelled together.

"I'm kicking you guys off the blog and now you have to use pencils and paper! That's what you get for putting this trash on your blog!"

Benjamin yelled, "NOT PENCILS AND PAPER!!!"

"IT WASN'T OUR FAULT!" came from Elizabeth.

At that precise moment a diabolical laugh came from outside the door. It was none other than that dastardly, no good, rotten James. As Ben started to cry, Liz thought of all the reasons James might have done what he did. Could it be the time he couldn't bring Jess to dinner, or the chicken nugget incident, or possibly even the phenomenal fictional work of Ben Hogue teasing James about a road trip? Liz just couldn't understand what it was that had turned sweet little Jamers into a plotting evil JENIUS ahem.. GENIUS.

The Day After That!!

It was Saturday and Liz and Ben were together plotting, scheming and conniving. They needed to get back at James for all the wrongs he had done (and Sara by association). Out of all of their evil genius ideas one was so mean and so vicious and so deliciously good that they had to go through with it. They named it 'Plan Jim Is Going Down (but we won't be mean to Sara because of the whole Princess Peach esque she has about her, but if this plan fails we might have to be mean to her in the next one)'.

Monday Monday, So Good to Me... It's Just Another Manic Monday...

It was Monday. Ben and Liz were ready to put their plan into action. It would have to wait until lunch though because that's what the whole plan revolved around. What they were going to do was wait until James was putting his tray away and trick him into throwing his fork into the garbage can. Anyone who has ever done this terrible act can understand the wrath that comes from the lunch ladies when one of their forks is thrown away.

The plan started off splendidly. Ben walked with James as James was putting his tray away. Ben was very good at distracting. Just as James was about to dump his tray in the garbage with his fork still on the tray he said "Oh, I almost threw my fork away!" and he put it in the fork return. Ben came back to the table disheveled.

"How did it go?" Liz asked excitedly because she wanted to know when Farly would start screaming. Ben put his head down and said. "I failed."

Monday Night

Back to the drawing board they went. They decided with this next plan there would be no mercy. It would be a total demise of James (and Sara too this time). This was called 'Plan Plant'.

Tuesday

Ms. Rut arrived to her classroom a half hour before any of the other teachers even got to the school because that is how much she cares about the class. She set her coffee thermos on the desk as well as her mug, opened her laptop and turned it on and put all of her papers in order so her desk would be organized and functional throughout the day. All of a sudden Ms. Rut's eyes filled with awe and admiration. "What is this I have found upon my desk?" She exclaimed out loud. It was a plant. A beautiful and colorful plant. It was almost like someone had arranged all of the most beautiful flowers of the world and put it in a pot for Ms. Rut. "Wow" she said. All was going splendidly until she took a big whiff of the plant and fell over immediately. She wasn't dead, just knocked unconscious. The last thing she could remember was the faint smell of lavender.

Mr. Warner and Mr. Vaughn were the first to discover Ms. Rut. At first they were very scared but once they realized she was alive they drank her coffee, turned off her computer, messed up her desk and drew a mustache on Ms. Rut's upper lip. Then they went to their classrooms. As kids arrived they were very enthused because they didn't have English for the day. It wasn't until second period that Ms. Rut got cared for by Liz and Ben. Luckily Ben had special smelling salts on him that revived Ms. Rut immediately.

"Wow Ms. Rut, it looks like you had quite the fall!" said Liz.

"Yeah Rut, what happened?" Ben questioned.

"The last thing I can remember is smelling that interesting plant."

Ben walked over reached his hand into the plethora of foliage. He pulled out a card and this is what it said: 'Ms. Rut, I hope you like these purtty plants. Love Jim and Sara'.

James and Sara were instantly kicked out of creative writing and Liz and Ben remained the star creative writers.

THE END

Dear Elizabeth

2010-01-19T08:47:00.004-05:00

Dear Elizabeth,

Life is not so bad.

Although we have four more months of school

And your boyfriend is two hours away

Things could be worse.

You could be a junior

And you could not have a boyfriend

You could also have no friends

And worst of all

You could have a year and a half left of school.

So buck up

Just remember

You're a senior.

Sincerely,

Your Best Friend Ben Hogue

Ode to Popcorn

2010-01-19T08:31:00.002-05:00

Fluffy mishapen balls of goodness,

oh, how I love thy salty and buttery taste.

Perfect for any movie or theater watching experience,

holding hands and eating this delicasy makes the perfect date.

My ode to popcorn,

how I love it.

Sorry it's late . . .

2010-01-15T10:32:00.001-05:00

It's not an ecard, but I hope you like it.