Happy Birthday Redux

Dear, dear TheLiz:

Please allow me to extend my heartfelt wishes that you did, indeed, experience the happiest of birthdays. Here's to a spring romance resumed, a college adventure, and a year filled with moments during which we don't always focus on the negative.

Happy, happy birthday again.

Yours in creativity,

KR

Following the light. . .

. . .a solitary bubble floated ever so slowly toward the surface. Do . . . whales . . . laugh?

"I'll show you. . .

. . . I'll show you all," Corny shrieked as he watched TheLiz and Ben disappear onto the bus.

Mac's Journey

Waves crashing. Salt water spilling into his pupils.

Crying out for peace. And then...silence.

Corny the Clown

Corny was crying. Tears. Like rain. Thunderstorms of terror.

NYC- Gone, Gone

courtesy of youtube.

i feel this is appropriate due to the fact the elizabeth and i are leaving for new york on sunday. there will be no awesome posts next week.

From all of us . . .

To our close personal friend and associate and an all-around-great-

human-being-if-you-overlook-certain-issues-that-we don't-have-to-talk-about-here-and-the-general-overall-crankiness-that-tends-to-hang-about-her-like-a-cloud----a woman of great fashion sense----a humanitarian of the first degree----and, oh yes, the woman, who through her brilliant characterization and crisp dialogue has finally helped us plumb the murky psychological depths of not only Seth,

but Mr. B. Vaughn. We love you---we revere you. And we forgive you. Happy, happy birthday to you, dear, dear TheLiz!!!! [photo gathered at bing from an Italian blogpost---we're sorry, but we just thought it would cheer her up---we had to try something, we were getting desperate]

A Near Death Experience

It was all fun and games

Just a tube that rolled down a hill.

Nothing could go wrong Hannah said.

It's lots of fun said Julia.

Well......

If by fun they meant you almost die then yes it was a freakin' blast.

Off we went, Stiggy and I

Spinning around in a plastic tube

Towards what was our possible doom.

Through a game of elbow tag, almost demolishing people

In between two trees.

Had we have hit them I'm sure we would have broken something.

Then towards the drop-off.

This drop-off led into the woods with even more trees,

But before we could reach it we were saved

By the Great Dane, and I think the Beast Double Kyle as well.

Stiggy and I got out laughing,

But that laughter was covering up how scared we were

That we almost died.

March Madness

Oh, March Madness, what you do to the citizens of America,

How you bring us together as you rip us apart.

Lord knows that you are full of entertainment purposes,

but what about those darn brackets?

Facebook statuses are popping up demeaning teams for their inability to win,

Grown men are crying at bar stools.

Women are angry because basketball is the only important thing to men during March (and April),

and it's sad when that is when your birthday is.

No, you don't want to watch the games,

No, you don't want to go to that guy's house to watch the game,

No, you don't want to hear about how far he's going in his bracket,

and No, you don't want your life to be overrun with stats and players and field goals (I thought those only happened in soccer and field hockey anyway?! )

Dear March Madness, I know I filled out a bracket for you,

But I don't care if Michigan loses or if Villanova wins in overtime, I don't even remember who I voted for!

Sure it's fun to take pink colored pencils and circle the team if you win, but have you watched any of the games aside from one you had no choice to watch? No.

So April, come quickly.

Mac's Journey

"Please don't eat me giant majestic whale." cried Mac.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't flip you off of my back right now and fangoriously devour you."

"Well......I play the ukulele."

"Hmm....that's intriguing to me. If you can shred that Somewhere Over the Rainbow song then I won't eat you."

Mac knew that song, but he didn't know he could shred it. After all it was only a ukulele and is it really possible to shred on those things? He started to play and slowly but surely the tasty riffs just kept on coming. He even somehow managed to do the tapping thing on the frets to make it sound awesome. Out of nowhere an amp appeared and the ukulele turned electric. The whales eye balls melted out of his head. Mac had achieved the impossible. He shredded Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

"Wow my face has been melted. My name's Humphrey."

"Wait....you're a devouring machine and your name is Humphrey?"

"Would you like me to eat you?"

"No, sorry. My name's Mac."

"Alright Mac where are you off to?"

"Well I was trying to get someplace warm, because down here I'm always about to freeze."

"Well I'm migrating to California right now. Maybe we can find somewhere between here and there for you to live."

"Thanks Humphrey. This may turn into a Disney movie yet."

To Be Continued.

Corny the Clown

Reginald went back to his room and started to cry. He didn't like to be mean to his circus recuits; he once was a bouncing baby boy on somebody's knee. Why did he do it then? For power and control. And the hot babes (that bearded lady was smokin').

He thought about Clappy the Clown. He deserved what happened to him. He tried to run away, and he got caught. Now Clappy the Clown was kept in the dungeon.

Reginald knew that Corny would be a good addition to the circus, that smile, his handsome red and white striped suit, his nose job.

Gregingor and his sidekicks, Pete and Harold were in their Coolmobile following Corny's scent. Pete had a nose like a bloodhound and was sniffing out the smell of talc powder and hairspray. They were getting closer, so close.

The passed the border line into New Jersey, Pete's nose was going crazy. That's when Gregingor slammed the gas pedal and zoomed straight forward. Harold looked up from 'Dear John', a circus tent. Harold took this time to remind Gregingor that this was the last time, he knew they weren't going to get him, they never did.

ZOOM ZOOM *sniff* ZOOM.

They were hot on Corny's trail. Gregingor zipped into the parking lot of the circus doing one of those cool parking tricks they do in action movies but if anybody tried it in real life they'd either be dead, about to be dead or arrested.

The men got out of the car. Their hair and trenchcoats were waving in the wind (poor Gregingor only had a flapping trenchcoat) and the smoke from the tires was wafting behind them. They started their march towards the circus tent, it was going to be a long day.

Corny the Clown

Oh cutie queen, Corny thought to himself. Why was it that when he finally was in the safe zone something bad/evil/smelly happened to him. Corny knew he wasn't going to forget about Clappy, and how was he supposed to not act in a Clappy fashion when he didn't even know what that was?

Corny wondered if maybe he should get out while he still could. Until Reginald took him to his room where four masked men were.

"Uh Reginald? I think this room is occupied."

"HAHAHA! You dumb clown! Didn't you realize you signed your life away to me when you signed that contract? Enjoy your stay! MWAHAHA!"

"Oh farts." The men grabbed Corny as Reginald shut the door laughing. He was chained to his bed and locked in his room. There was one window, but he looked out it and realized he was miles from the ground. How had he been tricked? Why did everyone else at the circus get to walk around freely?

"Oh Corny, oh Corny, Corny, Corny. I bet you're wondering how we tricked you and how everyone else here gets to walk around freely. Truth is, they don't. They are let free when we get a new member into our circus until the new member gets put in their room, then they are chained back up and trained mercilessly until show time. The get unreleased again for the show then it's back into chains. We don't want anyone getting out and we don't want anyone on the out getting suspicious. Sorry Corny, but you're in here for life."

My Chucks

black canvas material

low top shoes

there isn't a better feeling

then wearing my Chucks.

the shoe that has spanned generations

has made my feet

feel oh so comfortable

too bad they're falling apart.

A poem I wrote . . .

Reflection on a Dog I Saw in Sligo

A glorious sun surprise

After gray upon gray

Plays across winter worn lawns

Glorious

On Colerain Street

The usual route

To home and haven

Making my way through Sligo

Ironic little teacher’s-apple-red Jeep

Chariot to adventure

And back again

Or nowhere in particular

Trail rated

Good to know

Here on the trail

Behind the wheel

And suddenly

Out the right-side window

The grimy, grimy window

Pure exuberant joy

Prancing in the brown, brown grass

Now there’s something you don’t see every day

Beethoven wakes up

And actually plays that pipe organ himself

And the choirs sing

I roll the window down

And I don’t know

Is anyone behind?

Because someone else should see

A little dog frolic

All dressed up

In a rainbow suit

Fitting like a second skin

With sleeves.

KR 13 March 2010

Corny the Clown

Corny the Clown was shaking the hands of his new ringmaster under his new circus tent in his new town and he was finally able to breath a sigh of relief. He had made it again. His treacherous life was once again behind him and he was starting anew. As his ringmaster took him to his new bedroom Corny took in the sights of his new home.

This one was bigger than any he had been to before. There were people shuffling everywhere. Here they had a bearded lady, a midget, a sword swaller and a truthful politician in their Freak Show. Every circus animal imaginable was also a part of this place. From elephants to seals to lions, tigers and bears. There was a magician, those rope/swing swingers and a diver under the tent as well. Corny was so excited.

He looked to his new ringleader, "So what happened to your other clown? I mean I'm surprised I was even able to get this gig what with all the people you have working for you."

His ringleader, whose name was Reginald, looked at him with ice in his eyes, "We do not speak of Clappy the Clown. He was never here. If you try to find out or if you act in any Clappy fashion, we will kill you."

Mac's Journey

On a lonely iceberg in the Southern Hemisphere off the coast of Antarctica sat a lonely penguin named Mac. This young penguin was the toast of his flock. Everyone loved him. He was smart, witty, and not too hard on the peepers either, but still he wasn't happy. Mac dreamed of a life outside of Antarctica. He had heard of penguins that lived in South America, Australia, New Zealand, and South Africa. Warm places. He hated constantly freezing his tail off. His flippers were always numb. There was something wrong with this because most penguins in Antarctica don't get cold, but Mac did. He had a hat and sweater that they stole from one of the people that were on expedition there because of his condition. Mac needed to get out of Antarctica. He had to get to one of those warm places. So he put a plan into place. He decided to hitch a ride on a whale that would hopefully take him to one of these places. It was a gamble because he didn't know the migration patterns of whales, but he had to try. He waited on the iceberg until one came up out of the water and jumped onto it's back. Hopefully this whale doesn't eat me, is all Mac could think.

To Be Continued.

Corny the Clown

The men went back to the station... wagon. The man with no hair spoke to Harold and Pete the two moustached men.

"Listen guys, we almost had him. We are going to search through every carnival and find him. Circus life is his only life. We'll get him. I know we will."

"Gregingor, maybe we should just give this all up. I mean Corny's just a clown who made a mistake. We're never going to catch him and quite frankly, I'm ready to go home and rest." Harold had tears in his eyes. He truely was tired of searching for Corny only to have Corny get away from them every time. The only reason he had taken on this case was because of Gregingor. He didn't realize it would be a case he'd work on for twelve years. He was ready to retire from the police force, he didn't care about Corny any more.

"NO! We have worked too hard and too long to give up now!"

"One more try Gregingor," Pete said. He had been all for this case at the beginning, but now he was tired of it all. Had he known it would be the never ending case he wouldn't have taken it, "one more try and I'm done."

"Alright guys, one more time. Let's go to the donut shop and then find Corny. We'll get him. God as my witness, we will get him."

The Third Edition of the Night Spektors

Vaughn was frightfully ill. He had been hacking and coughing and doing other sick things for months. Dan, the secretary, had been busy taking care of Vaughn that he hadn't written down any Spektor news for months. He did post one thing on thier website in order to keep them all up to date:

HEAR HEAR THE NIGHT SPEKTORS

Many marvelous things have occured throughout our secret organization

and I'm going to account for all of them now.

1. The Spektors found Sundling (he was drinking coffee in the teacher's

lounge but since all of the Spektors are students (and Vaughn

doesn't get invited into the teacher's lounge) no one found him).

Until he left and started teaching his classes again.

2. Ben found Luke (he's just crazy and was running around doing

shenanigans which annoyed Ben very much).

3. The Night Spektors turned evil and decided to take over the world.

Or atleast Keystone.

Liz found Ben staring at himself in the mirror.

"What are you doing, Ben?"

"Can't you see I'm practicing my eyebrow lift? Are you insane? You can't just interrupt me in the middle of me practicing my supervillian powers and menacing tactics!"

"You need to chill Ben," Liz said extremely annoyed, "just because you're practicing your villian powers doesn't mean you get to practice your jerk powers too!"

"I'm sorry. I'm just so stressed out with this. I'm so used to going and getting donuts with policemen, not blowing their donut shops up! I don't know if I can follow through with this. I don't even remember why or how we started doing this in the first place."

"We did it because we ran out of money for our income taxes. We needed to beat the IRS, so in order to do that we needed to beat the government."

"A life of crime is not the life for me."

"Yes it is, now shut up and get dressed. We have a date with the Fairview State Police tonight. We need to take care of all the people that are going to stop us in our attempt to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!"

TO BE CONTINUED

The Gnome of Lamartine

Sitting out on the front lawn

With his red hat and green sweater

Sat the Gnome of Lamartine

He was an ugly little thing

Put out on the lawn

To scare away the raccoons.

Short as can be

With hair black as the night

And beady little eyes

This gnome was evil and diabolical

People who tried to be his friends

Were slandered about their stench.

Well he didn't smell too great either

He was also short, and when he tried to run

All he did was pump his tiny little legs

And move about an inch.

Oh the Gnome of Lamartine.

You shouldn't have started this war.

Corny the Clown

Corny the Clown knew he was no longer being chased by the men. He slowed down and turned into the fish mart.

He stalled the car and leaned his head against the headrest. He let out a big sigh.

The men were after him. Again. How many times was Corny going to have to run from these guys? How did they always find him? Why didn't the man with no hair just purchase Rogain? His mind was flooded and he realized he needed to get going before they set the dogs on his scent again.

As he was leaving the fish mart he wondered why him and the men always pretended to be strangers when they found him.

Well, another day, another circus, another lifetime of thinking about the things he had done.

Got My Mind Set On You

courtesy of youtube.

Can anyone explain how George does that back-flip when he's probably like 50 or older in this video?

i still suck at coming up with titles so i don't have one. any ideas?

The sky begins to brighten

The snow begins to melt

The birds begin to chirp

It's a familiar feeling I have felt.

My days at Keystone

Are drawing to a close.

It's somewhat sad

That the time never froze.

But with this coming of spring

A new chapter shall begin

It may be a bit scary

But I must draw from within.

New friends

New faces

New classes

New places.

With the closing of this chapter

Begins an exciting portion of my life

A portion that will define

What will happen the rest of my life.